fighting with myself

Guys Its started long ago.  i have failed in every blow that happened

I cant tolerate my failure in context to sexual (Love making) desire.

I just wanted to say bye bye to my emotional confusions regarding love making 

My defense and resistance about my self is very clear.............you cannot blame any one for your inability to achieve what you dream for.

I have to abstain from the desire it arouses me and make me confuse.  

It literally squeezes my strength and confidence to control my temptation 

Long before i have decided to break up and again convinced my self to engage. its again failure.

This time let me count myself. 

New Year 2016

Its been long gap writing a blog , 2016 started with a good start , observing noble silence@ Vippasana meditation center Bangalore

It was nice journey from  30-12-15 to11-12-01-16 , small abstract about experience 

I had blissful experience here , i feel much lighter after doing 10day course.
1st day we take it as challenge
2nd day as challenge again
3rd day if your feeble than you think to runaway , i did same
4th day as usual course will make you feel confident
5th day again hip of thoughts , nightmares makes you little uncomfertable and strong urge to leave the campus any coast but teacher will motivate you to stay
6th day is you started counting end days
7th day evening talk inspires you
8th day you feel more confident as day is coming closer
9th day you just think tomorrow i start to speak again : )
10th day you can start speaking feel like on Air